I'm disappointed and doing a very poor job of making lemonade out of these lemons...


What comes so easily to some people, seem so unattainable for me. I thought since he won't be here for my birthday and I doubt he'll be planning something like this....this could be night to make up for it. We don't get the chance very often. Even if it's at Sara and Damon's wedding...
All I wanted was a romantic night out with my man, just me and him, all dressed up, nice dinner, dancing together, twinkly lights all around...

That's all. No Coach purses. No diamonds. I don't care much for them. I'd much rather have that. Honest. But I know it won't be happening.


I'm trying to be mature about it. I really am. And I really do understand. I knew what I was getting into and what to expect coming into this relationship. I love the girls as if they were my own...but...But can't I be selfish just this once?

So today, I was looking at my dad's calender...just to check what day it was today.
I scan over the dates of last week and came across Friday, November 9th.

In that box, this is what it read:

Holy
Physical Exam 8:30 AM


My own dad spelled my name wrong.

Sh*tty. Things are suppose to be good around this time.

Sh*tty. That's how things are right now.

I am stressed. It's the holidays. I'm not suppose to be stressing. And if I were, it should be about the holidays. That's the only thing worth stressing over.

School has been kicking my ass. I have a lesson plan/reflection/paper/reading logs/RICA essays due every class session for every class. I barely make it through the week and I already have whole new set of assignments waiting for me. I'm over at Josh's house on the weekends, but I'm up in the loft doing homework the entire time. This weekend, I even let him go play poker, so I can get some homework done.

Work has been kicking my ass. I'm doing work for 2 full time workers, when I'm only going in 16 hours a week. I was going to cut down on my work hours cause I didn't have enough time to do my schoolwork, but now...the month of October has not been closed. Not only can I not do less hours, my bosses are asking me to put in more hours. I need the money. Tuition is due.

My parents. They have been saying that I don't spend enough time at home and that I'm a bad mommy to my dogs. I see them everyday during the week. Yes, I am at Josh's for almost the whole weekend, but I'm doing schoolwork. I wish they can keep in mind that most couples get to see their S.O.'s during the weekdays...or they get to stay overnight and spend the entire weekend together...I can't.

I haven't had time to help my friends. I haven't had time to take Paige and Evan anywhere. I haven't talked to Helen for a couple of weeks. I can't remember the last time Amy, Wei Han and I got together for a doggy playdate.


Please excuse all the ranting. As Mr. Larson would say, I just need to let it all hang out.





And SOMEONE is still STEALING MY RED PENS AT WORK!!
This is the fourth week in a row I've come back to my crap gone missing. I'm irritable.
Don't make me set the building on fire.

Every Thursday, I come into work to find my stapler remover and my red Bic pen missing from my desk.

You'll know what happens when my red Swingline stapler goes missing too.