Friday, December 14, 2007

A true blonde moment. Even I had to laugh.

Shelby: theres a meteor shower
Shelby: tonight
Shelby: if you're interested
Me: yea??
Me: where!!
Shelby: yep
Me: give me the info
Shelby: in the sky dumbass

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Last night, Josh and the girlies came out and took me to dinner at Black Angus (or Damon...Black An us). It was nice not having to wait for the weekend to see them. A mid-week fix, I could say. =P
Had some Filet Mignon (I have come to realize that I like their prime rib better) and some, oh so yummy, garlic mashed taters. Josh didn't finish his (score!), so I have them for lunch today. Muhahaha.
I hope they come out again...but, my poor girls. They didn't get home till 10:30 and slept-walked upstairs to bed.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

**EDIT!! I've gotten, er, complaints on #25. An explanation has been added.*



From Sara...from Mens Health...


50 Things She Wishes You Knew
Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand
Illustrations by: Juliette Borda, By: Lisa Jones


1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.


12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
So Sara ims me 2 different links (one of which is this link) and says...#25 reminds me of you. So I scroll down to #25 which states the above.

I im her back...My breasts love much licking and sucking? THAT reminds you of me?!


Sara: HAHAHA
Sara: your breasts licked
Sara: *mental picture
Sara: aghh


For those who are slow.......
She meant #25 on the other link.
x_O


26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.


29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.


35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking...

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Cynthia sent this to me on Facebook...kinda sweet if you ask me.

Life only comes around once make sure you spend it with the right person....
Find a guy ...
Who calls you beautiful instead of hot...who calls you back when you hang up on him...who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead...who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats...who holds your hand in front of his friends...who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you...Who turns to his friends and says, "That's her!!"

Friday, November 30, 2007

I'm disappointed and doing a very poor job of making lemonade out of these lemons...


What comes so easily to some people, seem so unattainable for me. I thought since he won't be here for my birthday and I doubt he'll be planning something like this....this could be night to make up for it. We don't get the chance very often. Even if it's at Sara and Damon's wedding...
All I wanted was a romantic night out with my man, just me and him, all dressed up, nice dinner, dancing together, twinkly lights all around...

That's all. No Coach purses. No diamonds. I don't care much for them. I'd much rather have that. Honest. But I know it won't be happening.


I'm trying to be mature about it. I really am. And I really do understand. I knew what I was getting into and what to expect coming into this relationship. I love the girls as if they were my own...but...But can't I be selfish just this once?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

So today, I was looking at my dad's calender...just to check what day it was today.
I scan over the dates of last week and came across Friday, November 9th.

In that box, this is what it read:

Holy
Physical Exam 8:30 AM


My own dad spelled my name wrong.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Sh*tty. Things are suppose to be good around this time.

Sh*tty. That's how things are right now.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I am stressed. It's the holidays. I'm not suppose to be stressing. And if I were, it should be about the holidays. That's the only thing worth stressing over.

School has been kicking my ass. I have a lesson plan/reflection/paper/reading logs/RICA essays due every class session for every class. I barely make it through the week and I already have whole new set of assignments waiting for me. I'm over at Josh's house on the weekends, but I'm up in the loft doing homework the entire time. This weekend, I even let him go play poker, so I can get some homework done.

Work has been kicking my ass. I'm doing work for 2 full time workers, when I'm only going in 16 hours a week. I was going to cut down on my work hours cause I didn't have enough time to do my schoolwork, but now...the month of October has not been closed. Not only can I not do less hours, my bosses are asking me to put in more hours. I need the money. Tuition is due.

My parents. They have been saying that I don't spend enough time at home and that I'm a bad mommy to my dogs. I see them everyday during the week. Yes, I am at Josh's for almost the whole weekend, but I'm doing schoolwork. I wish they can keep in mind that most couples get to see their S.O.'s during the weekdays...or they get to stay overnight and spend the entire weekend together...I can't.

I haven't had time to help my friends. I haven't had time to take Paige and Evan anywhere. I haven't talked to Helen for a couple of weeks. I can't remember the last time Amy, Wei Han and I got together for a doggy playdate.


Please excuse all the ranting. As Mr. Larson would say, I just need to let it all hang out.





And SOMEONE is still STEALING MY RED PENS AT WORK!!
This is the fourth week in a row I've come back to my crap gone missing. I'm irritable.
Don't make me set the building on fire.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Every Thursday, I come into work to find my stapler remover and my red Bic pen missing from my desk.

You'll know what happens when my red Swingline stapler goes missing too.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

homophones...HOmophones...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Happy Birthday to Pijun from the Sunflower!!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

bwhahahahhahah! I see you figured out how to edit your blog =P

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Sounds like something Josh would say to me if I were to say that.
Guys have a natural talent to be asses.

Esp ones that titles my blog "Hollie the __ __ __ __ __"...



* * * * * * * * * * * *

THIS POST APPEARED ON CRAIGS LIST -
I give her guts for being so frank, but more props to the guy who answered her just as frank=P


What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you have been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

So this is random, like all my other posts...
Reese Witherspoon's dad taught her:

In every relationship, the person least interested in maintaining it is going to dominate it, because they'll never compromise.

Never like Katie Holmes. Always Brad Pitt. I am Brad Pitt (so is Damon). Sara, that would make you Angelina Jolie. Hot stuff.

I actually miss my brother.
Who would have thought...

Friday, September 14, 2007

It's 8:14 am. I'm still asleep. But my ass is at work.

I do love my neighbors. Who doesn't want to be awaken at 1 in the morning to "You know why...cause he's on f*ckin' crack. You know what else? His f*ckin' wife is on crack too." Espiecially if you've got to get to work early the next morning. So I yelled, "Carlos, go home."

Wha la. "Dude, I gotta go. Bye." and then silence...but too late. I was already awake. Bah humbug. So I laid there, wide awake and Josh's song got stuck in my head. Why he sings it to me all the time, I have NO idea...


Monday, September 10, 2007

Damon: i didnt realize both of you ditched the room
Hollie: sucks huh?
Damon: HAHAHHA
Damon: <---owned

Friday, June 22, 2007

Happy Birthday, Damon!!

=)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My blog. My rules.

It quantifies.


Don't use big words on my blog.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Your hairy flat ass doesn't quantify an "update".

Loser.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Thou shalt not call me a loser on my own blog.

I know what you're going to say....
Just because I have not updated does not mean I am a loser, Loser.


Kiss. My. Hairy. (____)

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Loser. Need to update.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

FOODFLIX
queue...


Lebonese (next to be fulfilled)
Hooters
King Taco
Wagon Wheelers
Dim Sum
Shaved Icd
The Hat
Tommy's
Pink's
Roscoe's



Wednesday, February 14, 2007

My dogs are making out in front of me. LITERALLY. Tongues are flailing about. Very French.
It's like doggie porn.
I'm posting because McLoser says he will take me off of his Favorites list if I don't.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. =)


I got a text from DB that said:

"VALENTINES DAY IS CANCELLED!! =( Apparently you told Cupid you were sexy? He died laughing."

An even better V-Day gift....the jackass resigned. Next week is his last week and I can say I'm jumping for joy to see him go Out of sight, Out of mind. Finally. Happy Valentines Day Hollie.